Till wen???

I MISS YOU DAYDEE!!!!!

Sobx3....

FruStration

Everythings seems so fake nowadays...
Just dun understand why....
Dun noe why past people is coming back....
Why now at the point of time when i really not looking for other person except you...
I dun want to hurt people...
I dun want to get hurt...
But the more i drag, the more it worsen..
Wat else i cud do to make things rite??
Im just tired of all this pretending....
This world of denial...
All i ever wanted is to be with you...
And no one else...
PleAse think about it...
Think about our happiness for once...
That'll all im asking from you...
If im not fated to be with you, i'll go for good sake...
Dun make me suffer ani longer...

CoMe to rEaliSe...

All i ever want is you back....
Is you who make me feel the lost...
Is you who make me feel incomplete...
After all this years of thinking & searching for the reason and answers for my question...
I finally realise you are the one who was another half of me...
You are the one that complete me in the past...
Things happen for some reason...
& i found the reason for that...
This is hw was how it was written for me....
As to how i was make to realise that you are want i really needed all this while in my life....
All because of my own anger towards you, it blinded me from noticing about it...
I've tried my best to move on and be with other people but just doesnt work...
Im nt good at this but wat i noe is that i really need you back daydee...
And i never stop loving you since the day we went our separate ways...
All im left with is to have faith and wait...
I'll alwaes pray for us...
Love you daydee...
Get well soon...

GuiLt...

SlamAt aiDil adhA to evEryoNe...

LifE haVent bEen gOod...
LOts oF tHinGs goEs hAywiRed...
WoRk, faMilY, drIvinG, heAlth, moNey..
EvEythIng jSt hapPen onE shot tiLL i duN noE wAt or hoW to solVe thEm all...

ToT daT hAvin tO woRk awaay fRm too muCh goSsips arE muCh moRe eaSier but nOt at aLl...
TheY are prEety mucH equal heAdacHe crEated...
Wen wILLi reAlly fiNd a suiTable joB thAt i rEally loVe.....
GoNna stop wErkinG hEre n wAiting fOr soMethinG neW foR mE...
TiRed oF all thIs shiT peOple's is gIving mE...
EnuF is enuF la moNstEr...
I giVe up.!!!

Day aftEr dAy, feLt sooo driFted apart..
Too muCh proBleM thAt i'm tHinking but noBody giF a shit oUt of iT...
All thEy noE is foR me to heLp den n Not vice verse...
I noe uRe marrIed but stiLL, u haF ur siblinGs n parents to tAke carE ok....
Im jSt tiRed oF thinG of eveRythinG all by mYself...
FoR godsAke...

GonNa stop drIving foR nw...
Not dE rite tIme tO conT...
Haix...

WeN will i b ReallY b heAlthy liKe beFore...
BeEn faLlIng siCk quite oFten...
N hoSpitAl aPpoinTment agAin...
HaIx...
GueSs im goNna skip dAt agaIn...

SoMetImE i jst wiSh dAt i cud enD it thE nicest wAe foR you... But yoU simplY duN waN to acCpt thE faCt...
ThEre's nO wAy thiNgs arE goiNg bCk tO hOw it uSed tO b... CoZ deeP insiDe, i giF uP oN loVe...
So plEase movE on n dUn lEt thIs guilT dat i hAf noW hunT mE doWn evEry singlE momEnt in my LifE...
I jSt wAn you To b HaPpy...
PlEaSe...
We cAn stiLL b frIendS...

I wiSh i wisH to bE haPpy agAIn...

SoRry..

SoRry i maKe u feeL saD...
JusT duN feeL gooD nwadAes...
TOo muCh to absOrb in...
Too leSs peOple to taLk to opEnly...
No reaally leSs but moRe to noBody..
I jSt feEl dAt i cuD tAlk to u LikE hw i uSe tO buT thAt wunt haPpen...
So yAh...

Btw tAnx foR thE coNcerN...

TAkE caRe alWaes...

EndurE..

WannA b wELL bacK... :(((

CnT bare to b sIck likE thIs...



UneXpeCted...

DidNt expEct aniThin frM diS feW poSt.. DiDnt evEn haF anI inteNtion to lEt peOplE noE wAts goIng oN iN my liFe... JuSt neEded suMonE oR somEwhEre daT i cuD shAre, talK n wriTe doWn... AtleasT dat cUd maKe mE fEel beTter a liTtle...

I duNt noE hw tO moVe oN frM hEre... WEn i niD thE peRson thE moSt buT i cuDnt fiNd hiM... Jst thE mattEr oF facT daT things cNt b dE samE aS it uSed tO b... NeeD to lEarn tO moVe awAy frM missIng pEoplE... People dAt i shUdnt b miSsIng... LikE wAt my x sAes, " to gAin smTh, i niD tO looSe smTh 1st..." mayB hE's riTe... BuT diS isnT thE riTe time... Im baRely brEathIng... DuN noE wAt is gOin tO happEn nxT...

CouNting doWn to sePt 4... ThE daE whEre i noE i'll feel pain... BuT noboDy noEs waTs goNna haPpen...expEcting thE woRst caSe seneRio... ThAt's thE beSt i cud tHing abOut...

Ure aLwaes my sWeeTest drUg....

2nd aUg 12..

HapPy 24tH bDae tO bEstiE...
&
HaPpy 25th bDae tO abG...

MaY all thEir wiShes cUm trUe n stAy haPpy alWaes arOund thEir loVe oNeS... Plus i love theM tOo...
ThEy arE paRt oF mE tOo.. MuAck!!!
IF onLi shE cuD rEad thIs...

Im soRry dAt iM diDnt fulfILL a goOd taSk iN bEiNg a fWn to u beStiE..
:((

ToDay my 2nD daE oF MC... StILL no diFfEreNt yEt.., couGh like waNna diE.. BloCk nOse.. FeVer... GoSh... ThIs iS like thE worSe coMbo evEr.., canT slP weLL sinCe thE daE i fAll siCk.., beIng so cRankY nw a dAeS.. BuT thAnks tO pEoplE arD me thAt enDurE my crAnky-neSs... SoRry foR daT... :)))
BeIng reFerEd tO thE hoSpitAl..
SoUnd sO serIous... HopEfuLly noThiN iS seRious.. HaiX... I jSt waNna b liKe noRmaL & b heAlthy.. No moRe mediciNes... SicK & tiRed arEadi..,
4th sePt wiLL b dE daE wEn eVer qs oF mine bE anSwer by the teSt reSult...

& i miSs mY swEeteSt drUg... :((

MeMoriEs...

I duN noE y it haPpeN n y muSt iT b hiM thAt i drEamt oF... AftEr almost 5 yrs i stilL caNt gEt ovEr hiM... WatS is wrOng wiF mE??? Am i noT reAdy to opEn uP my hEart fuLly tO othEr peRsoN tHat im wiF now???

He onCe tOlD mE... If i Wan tO gaiN somethIng, i niD tO sacRifiSe somThing iN reTurN... BuT i jSt caNt... ThE moRe i tRieD, thE moRe paSt memoRies coMes baCk...

HoW i wIsh things wuD b easIer foR mE...

HoW i wiSh my bRain is like a coMpuTer thAt i cuD simplY
CTRL + ALT + DEL...

ThAt wiLl bE bEttEr...

BuT tOo baD...

TOoo muCh oF beIng huRt tiLL i cant
EvEn c wAt iS reAlly trUe loVe...
MaYb thErE iS no suCh things...
NO hAppY enDing...
No fAiry taLe...
JUst a stOry oF a siMpLe giRl dAt iS stILL fiNdiNg hEr wAy tO trUe lOve..

<< CrANkY CraNky >>

whAt's haPpeing tO mE nOwaDaEs??
reAlly areNt MysElf..
quArrelLing is nOthIng nEw at ALL...
sO iS preTendIng...
tiLL wEn wiLL tHis caRry on???
moNths?? yeARrs ??
if oNli thEre's soMe1 i cOud tAlk to...
iF oNly thIngs aRE liKe hW it uSEd to bE...
iF onLy yOU aRE hEre...
hMmmm...
buT tHAt woNt happEn agAin..
nEvER evEr wiLL...
memoRies tHAT arE swEet yEt bEttER at tHe saMe tiMe...
afTeraLL im nOt reGrettIng iT & wiLL nEver dO...
onLy soMetiMes i wiSh yOu weRE hEre...
iN my liFe...

haTE to bE siCk liKe thIS...
caNT bReaTh pRoperLy...
vOIce iS liKE goIng tO loSt soOn...

:((