first thing 1st...
wen to vivo on the sat after a few hours emo-ing...
been a rough days since last wks...
lots of things have been taking place...
wasnt in the rite mind & emotions...
so complicated....
tanx to mummy dat she met me...
made me laugh n 4get about being angry...
wen he's infornt of me, cnt afford to be mad...
de feeling just change...
undescribe-able....
love him....
alot....

did smth funny on thurs...
wen sentosa with dat nurul...
last min planning....
all the credit goes to her....
long time nvr wen there...
for once i got to do stupid things...
hehehehe....
had lunch infrnt of the beach....
with the sun just rite infornt of us....
pretty damn hot n burning but yet enduring....
camwhoring here n dere...
damn fun.....
enjoyed de dae eventhough im supposed to spend it with him...

up next was the sunday...
wen out with sistas n bro-in-law plus bf...
5 of us was like spending time...
choosing 1 pink digital camera....
oh well...
the camera was 1 of my choices of bdae present dis year...
nice but yeah...
mine is nicer... =)

as for today,
met him for dinner...
n he bought me a teddy bear...
his name is GONDOL....
love it so much...
GOBLIN, MATREP, COOKIE MONSTER, MR SMILEY & GONDOL....
hahahaha...
cool....

thats all for now...
i wish i cud be with him forever,..
love u lots sayang...
muacks...

been a very long time since i blog abt things that had happened....
mayb that's no time to even mit up with fwns and bf,...
having involve with expo sales was fun...
being able to mit up with different people....
with different culture and wae of thing....
hmmm....
interesting yet irritating....
dat's working life....

doned with expo n back to store...
really miss my office and the people there....
was really glad that things have ended....
next will be xmas celebration promotions....
tons of things to do i guess...
hahahaha.....
hope so if nt i'll be rotting in the office ....

i miss bestie....
miss her till i cried alone in my room...
just cnt believe she really means so much to me....
been thru so much together....
i noe she have a own life now...
and i'll alwaes pray for the best for her....
luv u girl....

next up will be the rp peeps...
outing this sat that i s not really cnfrm though....
i miss them too....
my dear haira u're been miss my ur sis dear....
hopefully the outing will be on...
ezzah thanx for making me laugh for the whole nite...
really enjoy ur company....
mit up often ok with daddy too...
i miss daddy oso cn...
heheheh.....

nurul....
just be patience ok...
he'll be out sooner or later....
time will flies fast w/o u realising it....
trust me it will...
for now just enjoy the moments....
dun spoilt or destroy ur life bcuz of this...
b de nurul dat i've been with for the whole 3 yrs in poly...
i still have me if u nid someone orites...

something is wrong that's gonna happen...
i'm just so scared to think about it...
i wonder why must it alwaes happen...
will it like affect the relationship that im having now...
y cnt i just have a r/s that is simple and straight forward.,,,
im just tired of all the complication that been taking place...
simply cnt make any decision for now...
brain dead....
can i just run away from all this...

i just wish that i cud live a life with just bf...
w/o any interferences....
it wud be better....
for u n me....
forever...
hais...

kuimpikan mimpi yang sempurna dari mu.....

frustrated, irritated, annoyed....
feel like puching the wall...
arrrgghhhh....
y must all this happen....
tried very hard to be nice...
not throwing temper n all....
but i just feel that its too much....
everytime this happens...
i just breakdown & cry...
nth else that i could do...
haaisss..........

i wan to run far far far far away............

it's already 2am in the morning n yet im nt aslp...
suprisingly i dun feel slpy like hw i use too...
kinda off wierd but just cnt be bothered to think abt it...
miss the time wen u hold me tite...
spending time like there's no tmr...
joking n teasing each other...
talking on the fone till morning...
all this left only as memories for me...
things changes as people change...
not complaining...
just saying...

last day of fasting n raya is coming.,.
arent excited for that...
dun noe y but yah...
the feeling is just so wierd...
cnt explain it at all....

wen popeye for last buka session with the girls...
at last i got to mit up with haira...
miss her alot2....
had ben&jerry for after that...
cool or wat.....
hopefully this yr jln raya will go on smoothly as planned...
looking forward to mit everyone back like how we use to...

wat a dae...
injurd my toe for some reason...
n its bleeding and painful...
cian faeza....
hais...

will update the pictures in facebook wen i feel like updating it...

feeling quite dissapointing for now....
application for school was successful...
however money will alwaes be the main issue...
how i wish all this problems wun happen to me...
just wanna study as much as i can n be someone...
achieving what i've been dreaming for...

day by day the stressness is increasing....
feeling like things wun happen the wae i've planned...
trying very hard to make things right...
hoping for the best as possible...

to people who have been helping me...
just wanna say thank you so the very much...
greatly appreciated and i love u guys....

not looking forward to hari raya....
sadness....

lots of things have been taking place around me..
happy or sad...
it just happen as planned by fate...
there's things that I've pick up along the way...
learning how to give n take...
learn how to accept things that i should...
haix....
this is all the matter of time...
that could change things....
for the better...

so frustrated with everything....
what is f**king wrong with me ...
argghhh!!!!
everything seems to be wrong somewhere...
just need someone to be here with me...
making me feel better....
telling me nth is going to be wrong...
hais...

met him at last ytd...
at ard afternoon...
headed to vivo for a movie...
preety akward at first...
been sometime wen couples dun mit & call...
this is wat happen...
frankly speaking i really miss him badly...
feel like hugging him wen i first met him...
telling him how much i miss him...
holding his hand very thight...
that's wat i feel like doing...
but wat i did was a different thing....
feeling like miting a stranger...
someone that i've not met for sometime...
silence was occupying the atmosphere...
since the journey started till it ends...
very wierd to have that happening when i miss him...
the moment wen u holds my hands...
i feels like crying inside....
the moment u hug me...
i just wan to cut it short...
dun wan to depend on u dat much...

i just dun understand what's happening in my life now...
freaking lost in a middle of nowhere...
where nothing can be found...
nothing is right....
u may wan me to accpt everything ...
not to complain things to u...
even if im just clarifying things...
to u it's just plainly complaining....

supposed to get ready to mit eza n wan for breakfast...
but i'm still here not ready at all...
dun feel like going but i nid some entertainments...
to let my mind rest from problems dat kept myself down...

wen cn this ever ends...
happiness taking over...
miracle happens....
i wish.....

work was superb the slack today...
boss isnt there...
thus everything was peaceful...
tmr will be a day with her alone...
this is gonna be bored for me...
she's just simple fun to talk with..
just that i cnt be bothered to entertain...
haha...

met nurul n ezzah after werk...
wen to smu n den to YMCA...
at last i register for my degree...
all thanks to my two dear girls as alwaes...
hahah... ezzah u are 1 funny girl...
mcm paham look mature but padahal the youngest...
sayang kamu many2....
betul... betul... betul...
hope this will just goes smoothly as planned...
NOV will be the month skool will start for me...
yeay!!! i miss skool....

kinda of wierd to be going for class for minimum 1 day per month...
hahaha...
like play2 like dat....
but assigments will be very tough as usual...
oh well...
just cant wait for NOV to come....
then i'll be starting to feel the stressness...
2 module per semester....
insyallah boleh....
amin....

shud i be waiting for your messages everytime...
or shud i just let it be....
pretending is wat i'm alwaes do...
lying is taking place...
eversince urent here..

hate empty words...
is the same as not saying...
better to keep den hurting people...
be it u or her or him or you...
everyone are all the same..
refect on yourself...

waiting n waiting n waiting n waiting....
that's the things i've been doing...
sitting down counting the stars...
knowning that it's just uncountable...

wishing that something wud happen by chance...
something good that brings out happiness...
but yet it not taking place any sooner...
just a wish that i have in mind...
to make myself feel better...

while waiting for him to wash up...
decided to blog....
but nth is in my mind now...

just thinking whether i shud do apply for skul this year or nt...
really wanna go study back rather than starting to werk...
arent ready for a proper working environment now...
no doubt i've been working permanently for almost 1 yrs...
it's just so bored to do things the same again n again...

tmr n weds will be a bored dae...
i'll be alone werking with my boss...
can time pass faster so i can meet you..
can i.. can i... can i....

waiting for time to bath...
tinking abt things that have been taking place...
it's just so unpredictable...
i'm so actionless....
dying inside....

by all means u can be mad at me..
i noe im alwaes in the wrong when things bcome like this..
crying inside alone is just wat i could do...

every nite i'll wait for you..
having this mindset that u'll haf time for me..
even just awhile...
sometime its dissapointments but sometime it's happness...
i noe that u're bz with ur life now...
i'm sorry if i'm a burden to u...
cnt affort not to complain that u're nt there for me..
it's hard for me...
but i've tried not to complain that much...
however the loneliness is still there...
lying to myself is wat i alwaes do..
even u noe that....
coz i'm doing this all for u...
i dun wan to quarrel with u...
coz i love u...

faeza is not here for the time being.....

faeza nye blog sooo damn dead....
coz she's dead too nowadaes....
hahaha...
not literally dead bt emotionally...

was supposed to go running but bro in law came...
so tk jadi n nw mendaking in the room....
hmmm.... wat shall i sae.....
i miss my rp peeps especially my 2 abgs....
fasting dae is coming really really soon....
so de fast lor....
n i'm left with a few weeks to spend time with wan....
all are in NS and it's like so boredness....
how i wish that i can slower the time...
so he'll go NS abit later....
hais....

wen out with the Kranji girls that day....
was so damn KECOH wen met them....
everyone was like so happening xcept me...
hahaha...
kind of no mood....
but thanks to bestie that really understand me...
i'm sorry if im so emotionally down...
didnt meant to prangai or wat that day...
hope u do understand my situation...
to dee thanks for dropping by to mit me even for a short time...
appreciate it to the extend....

this week is the most boring week...
everydae must work....
sianx le....
but today wen dinner with wan....
thank for making my dae better...
n sorry if im alwaes late...
heheh..

i wanna watch movie can??
hais....
but watch wif who?
so the sian lor....
haiyooooo...
i just with that everything will be fine...
but will it be...??
i wonder....

there's where she stop...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO FARHANA ARIS

today's bestie 21 birthday....
now ure 1 yrs older...wahahah....
hope u enjoy ur dae big day...
love u so much farhana aris..
muackss!!!

things was hell for the past few weeks....
i wish that someone is there to comfort me...
like how it use to be but not now....
kept me wondering why things turns this way...
very complicated and unpredictable...
even for me...
cant even find the answer to the questions at all...
wen i asked you simply say nothing, maybe, dun noe...
whats more can i do to make things running in the r/s..??
that's always the question i have in mind when things goes wrong..
hais....

i wanna have fun in life....
like how i use to be...
with u by myside always...
nothing goes wrong at all...
can dat possibly happen again...
i doubt so...

fasting month is ard the corner...
hope that something good will happen...
a small girl is making a wish....

currently feeling very lost....
confusion and complication...
everything in my mind...
i lost everything...
incomplete....

something that i wanna sae..
but this song will do the job....

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
What's your...

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

things alwaes happen for some reasons...
n i really hope that mine happen for a good reason...
before ending i just wanna sae that i love u....
thank you for being a loving part of my life...
i pray that the story will not end just like dat...

wen i sit back....
staring at the empty air....
is the same thing as my life....
empty without anithing to complete it....
no doubt u're busy with things...
understandable....
for once think about me...
dat's all i ask from you...

two wks w/o u was a change...
busy is alwaes the reason...
its hard for me....
lying to myself..
treating things goes smoothly....
thanks to people who make me laugh & all...
but in my heart dat's only you dat will alwaes make my dae...

moments of RP life was refreshed...
with all those old jokes back then in school....
laughter of the crazy people....
miss those daes.....
met up with brother bear at bugis....
had lunch after 2hrs of walking and shopping.....
been a long time since i mit him and lepak....
share stories and commenting on people....
refreshing all the momories back then....
really fun doing that with him....
feel like the old daes where we'll talk everydae....
cute yet memoriable moments....
met up with wan after that n make our wae to esplanade...
watch the fireworks....
it was cool....
but crowded with mats & minahs.....
had dinner together and cont' talking and joking....
laughter fills up the atmosphere around me...
really feel that i'm just being myself back den in school...
i just miss being ME.....
took videos and pictures but will update it on FB....
wen im rajin to upload....
hehehe....
till here....
bye...

complicated life....
just too hard to explain....
may never noe wat's gonna happen next...
confusing.....
lost...

leading life as normal....
working in the dae....
tuition in the nite...
just wish that life can be better then this...

looking 4ward to mit up with nurul n eza...
gonna watch fireworks....
confirm lots of minahz n matrepz....
oh well...
since he's not coming out 4 2 weeks....
spending most of the time with these crazy ppl....
hope that it'll be fun after all...

cant wait for IT show.....

taking care people....

ps: looking forward to mit u up bestie...

1 Years has past behind us....
been overcoming mountains together....
be it the hard way or the easy way....
that's part n parcel of relationships..

no doubts tons n tons of things had been happening....
unexpectable things was seen....
how bad u are n watever it is it will never stop me frm loving you...
just hope that u will understand me better....
dun stop loving me as long as u live....
coz i wun....

100708 was the meaningful day for us....
the day that only mean for us....
time where we spend time....
good times n bad times...
it's just happened but...
please dun gif up...
on US...

really hope that u'll change for the better....
please dun break your promises....
control ur temper....
dun hurt me anymore....
pleaseeee...
ily Jumalee.... =P

happy 1yr aniversary sayang...
may everythings runs smoothly for us....
amin...

btw i miss bestie...
n nurul...
n abg....
n yana....
n everyone that i noe....
i miss you guys....
taking care...

the rain show how hurt i was....
dun really noe y it happen but yet it happen...
confused alone in the middle of noe where....
finding the right path to the right route...
i noe i'm not gud enuf for you but i did the best for you...

every single moments ure nt with me....
the feeling of incomplete grows stronger n stronger....
dun noe how im going to handle it....
sobx.....

feeling a sense of love, care n attention....
isnt there anymore....
be it u nor him...
it's the same...
as long as u're happy...
i'm happy too....
coz i care n love both of you....

i'm so lost... hais.....

I'M SORRY BESTIE...

i wan to apologies to u...
i noe i was wrong...
jumping to conclsion...
make u feel sad and all...
was totally stress out with things....
emotional unstable...
was very egoistic at that time...
hais....
i was just tired of all the things that's happening ard me...
mayb wat u sae is rite just that i choose nt to accpt it...
it's kind of hard coz i'm nt use to it....
gif me time to accpt all this...
i miss you....

one mountain after another ....
it just wun stop cuming .....
making me so weak...
hopeless....
sobx...

i dun noe why must all this end u like this....
history is starting to repeat itself again...
'time off' that's the most phrase i hate....
sobx2...

will past repeat again....??
ohh god please dun.....

things doesnt goes smoothly as planned....
it just happenned for some reason...
wat i haf wud b mine forever...
every min, every sec....
somehow it'll be gone...
forever....
hais..
adapting with things in life that kept changing every moments.....
everythings is changing....
people and places....
maybe heart....
L.O.V.E....

bisikan hati...
i wanna be with you.....
please dun walk away.....
someday somehow u'll understand....

confusion....

long time since i updated.....
kind of no time for all this...
starting to feel bored with life...
going thru same things again n again....
living in a world with full of lies....
but there's hope dat i hope for....
to find the star to shine my waes.......
hais.....

been 4 months working there and i'm starting to get bored...
doing things over n over again....
no doubt dat i love my senior alot....
alwaes there for me wen i'm bored with things....
but till wen will i b stuck doing things that make me feel boreddd???
another question that is in my mind dae by daes....

i miss my fwns....
people whu alwaes complete my daes...
with laughter n joy....
without fail.....
can i just rewind back my poly life....
sobx2....

since i lost my hp......
i lost all the contacts ....
saded....
do update ur numbers with me alrites....
taking care people....
muacks.....

foRt canNing/ hp lost

another side of fort canning was nice......
but full of nyamuk....
bite me like nobodys business....
took lots n lots n lots of pictures...
damn fun but tiring coz there's alot of stairs to b climb....
found a new fwn.....
hahaha.....

apart from the happy moments was the sad story..
lost my fav hp....
dun noe where it have gone to....
sob2...
all tanx to my carelessness....
never lost my fone b4 n this is the first time...
pasrah nyeeeee.....
saded.....

after which had dinner at cwp....
had ban mian for sure....
craving for that for a very long time....
syiok sia de ban mian.....
hmmmm.....
hahaha....
wen lepak with sayang at the mrt station dere....
tookk pic again as usual....
after which wen back home coz tired liao....

it the feeling that something that seems to be different...
kind of wierd but dat's wat i feel about us now....
barriers that kip us apart somehow....
mayb u just dun understand it....
how am i supposed to let u noe wat's always in my mind....
wen u just cnt understand it....
hais.....

Birthday count down...

30 mins to go....
turning 21 years old...
yet doesnt look like...
cool or wat....
maintain small kid as usual...

tmr will be the dae where i shud enjoy....
every minutes every seconds of the moments....
ending werk at ard 4pm & off for tuition...
miting bestie n maria at orchard...
weeeee!!!!!!!
gonna enjoy myself wif them....
btw tanx dear bestie for planning smth 4 me...
lurp u so many many many more....

so touch that even my grandmother wish me advance bdae wish....
love u nenek.... mucksss!!!

now doing nth else other then blogging and msning n facebooking....
i'm sooooo de boredddd.....
waiting for the minutes n seconds to come...
wishes my bdae wish before going to bed....
hoping that it will come thru one dae...
i wish i wish i wish very hard hard hard....

am i being so unreasonable towards u all these while???
all i wanted is just u to gif me the attention, love n care....
dat's all i ask for from u....
is that so much for u to gif it to me??
just dun get it...
y must things just happen like this...
trying very hard to make things better...
but somehow it just cant happen just as planned....
wat dat have gone wrong .....
just cnt figure it out on my own frm that moments things go haywire...
wierd but yet it does happen....

just so hard to accpt the fact...
all i noe is just to run from problems....
till wen will i be stop running from all these...
wat will happen next if that were to happen???
wait n let the time do the job.....

gd nite people.....
have a nice dae......

HE's BACK!!!!
by my side alwaes....

i noe i dissappoint u.....
xcpting more den wat dat happen...
tried to make things more fun but i fail...
regret to make u walked so long.....
regret for demanding on dat stuppid fone....
it just made me so terribly down....
looking at face like dat...
make me cry inside...
wanting 2 met u was the priorty wen u cum back....
not like wat happen on the day....
breaking down infront of bestie was embarrassing.....
trying to control but just cnt hold it any longer....
btw tanx bestie for being dere for me....
now den u noe how hard things goes for me...
watever u saes are ur point of view....
i dun ask much from u...
just ur care n concern dat will make different in my life....
i love u as much as i love jumalee.....
both of u means so much to me....
i dun wan 2 loose ani1 of u...

being unreasonable is just happen without knowing it....
but am i???
u tried to make me be an independent person but fail...
reason being i dun wan to be 1....
used to be like dis...
being around people that love me, care and being pampared....
that me....
hope u understand me....

i miss you sayang....
no matter wat happen,
u'll be alwaes in my heart...
that's the promise i've made...
how mad i am towards u,
how sad i am,
i still love u alot....

sOre thRoat dae....
was supposed to go to work but cudnt force myself up....
feeling so sick and pain.....
all thanxs 2 whu ever dat pass it to me...
went to collect mc and medicine....
wanna sae thanx to NURUL for the company....
had an early tuition with Insyirah....
math was fun 4 me but not her...
hope that she'll do well 4 tmr's paper...
please dun dissapoint me n ur mum.......

3 more daes to see him back in SINGAPORE....
so am i excited for that???
dun really noe wat's the answer to that question...
no doubt that it wasnt complete without him around...
mayb just starting to get use to being around others n not him....
hopefully the feeling of awkard wont exist by then....

feel happy for him for enduring 24 daes to complete the camp....
at last it's going to an end.....
after all the hard work that have been done all these while....
shud have some celebration with him...
hopefully he love it.....
imy daydee... =(

21 may will be the day for small girl to turn 21 years old....
the day that i hope that it will be as memorable as last year....
being around both bestie and hopefully dear boy....
hoping to enjoy every single moments in life....
taking care people...
tata....

woke up in the morning....
feeling a little lost....
kinda of wierd...
missing ....
haiss...

1 wk 2 go and he's back....
hope everything goes smoothly...
not really counting down but just ...
getting bored days after days.....
i wish i can turn back time...
having fun time.....
smiling always...
but not now...
lying to myself....
running away from things....
when will all this feeling stop....
may look happy but the fact i'm not...

so happy for bestie....
at last being wif someone...
someone that she love alot...
wishing u all the best in ur r/s....
i bet u wun have so much prob than me...
i mit u later alrite dear....

working is so getting bored nowadaes....
doing same old things again and again....
considering of changing job but nt nw....
enduring for a few months more to go...

dun feel excited at all for my bdae dis yr....
kind of wierd coz it's really not me....
i dun noe y but dat's the feeling that i feel now...
only looking 4ward for bestie surprise that she made 4 me...
other then that it's just a normal dae....

guess that's all for now....
will update soon if that's feeling to update....
take care people...

review of this week

1 month w/o him was abit wierd....
doing this without him by myside....
ohh welll....

wkdaes was pretty normal routine....
work den tuition den home....
wkends was slightly different...
wen to cut my hair....
mit up wif bestie...
have some toking session at mac...
off to orchard with bestie, sisters and bro in law....
had lots of laughting here n dere....
once i can make my mind at peace.....
enjoying the outing with them...
bought sis the agnes b bag....
nice la but the accessories is more nicer...
n i bought 1 tooo....
wahahaha....
had dinner after a long walking....
wen pizzahut at lucky plaza....
damn full and tired of non stop laughing....
how i wish that this can happen everydae....
the closeness of the siblings and families....
hais.....

10 daes have past and 14 daes to go....
really miss him alot.....
waiting for that 14 daes to past is so long....
hope to mit him 1st thing wen he come back....
hais...

18 daes to gooo.....
wishing for suprises to happen....
will dat wish of mine come true???
taking care people....
imy sayang.... =(

20 daes to goo n dats is super duper long....
can it just fly faster....
the day wen i send him was the sadening dae for us...
24 daes without eacch other....
no calls, no msgs, outing, dating,.....
but appreciate him for his effort to call and msg me....

been making my daes as pack as possible....
trying to make myself happy....
btw thanks to farhana aris for the company all this while....
appreciate it alot and ur milo oso.... =P
take care people....

happy 9 month aniversary to US...
been a long time since the day i met him....
till now all the things that we've been through...
ups and downs in this relationship taught me alot...
i hope and wish that we'll stay together forever & ever...
btw thank for the cookie monster soft toy that you gave me...
i love it as much as i love matrep and goblin but i love u even more....
wen Ehub to catch Knowing after my long dae tuition....
was kinda lost watching that movie evnthought i didnt slp during the show....
hahaha... forever lost kid....

talking about going overseas....
just hate to hear about it...
afew more weeks and he's off....
somewhere far from me...
am i prepared for that....
3 wks without anitin from him is ridicules....
totally got no answer wen he ask what am i going to do 4 dat 3 wks...
i myself dont have the answer to that question...
what can i do when he's not here with me....
i'm soory for giving u that answer....
i'm just not prepared.....
aniwae i dun mean what i said....
trying not to even think about it....

u'll alwaes be in my heart sayang.....

Officially graduated with a DIPLOMA in Biomedical Electronic Engineering.....
sound so WoW but basically the same as the rest just that it' like a rojak 2 me....
was so nervous when going up the stage....
my sis say i look like cartoon ....
so damn the not me .....
stage fright......
hahaha....
took lots2 of pictures with all the peEps that i Know....
going round and round and round to find people to take picture with....
wahahahaha....
gonna miss POLY life with all those crazy and sweet people that i've known....
food was so2 onli but the pizza and fishball was the best....
tiring wearing the heels for like half a day......
cant imagine if i were to wear it for like whole day.....
tsk tsk.....

went Sweensen with sis and mummy....
had lucnch coz very the hungry....
and off to grandma house while i went home....
met nurul & Ezzah after that for some dinner and rounding2....
however something unpredictable happenned but good thing not that serious...
still i'm sooo damn scared...
overall i enjoy the outing with those 2 girls..... *winks*

cant wait for tomorrow coz hubby is booking out.....
hopefully that's confirm coz i really the miss him alot.....
so damn appreciate that he msg me when having his camp....
i wish he know how much i miss him and will miss him when he's not here...
thailand trip is around the corner....
that means that i'm left behind alone without him by my side....
almost 1 month without him is like hais.....
dun noe whether i'll be alright with that later or not....
1 month is very long and i'm left with nothing but only his L.O.V.E in my heart....
*crying*

had 1 wish for my birthday in 1 month plus....
hopefully it will come true......
*close my eyes*
i wish i wish.....
please make my wish come true....

i'm off....

been a long working dae as usual....
werking and off for tuition is just my routine...
sometime im just sick and tired of all this things....
i wanna be somewhere peace and calm....
where all the problems will be gone....
tinking too much can make me go sick...
i wish someone will eventually come...
bring back the old happy2 me....
haixx.....

did i take the right move???
did i do it right??
if nt what is wrong???
i'm totally lost....
here alone....
sobx2.... :(

last dae to spend time with hubby....
nxt dating will be 2 wks from now...
cnt believe that & i tot he's joking but nope....
i'll miss him badly for that 2 weeks....
april is coming and time is coming closer & closer....
cnt imagine 1 month w/o him is like haissss....
thailand is far den pasir laba camp....
this is nitemare...
boohoohooo....

last few days was hubby's birthday....
he's old by 1 yrs by now....
didnt really celebrate on the day of his birthday...
but did that celebration belatedly...
for that 3 daes he's out from camp we went out...
shopping, catch movie, spending time with him...
hope he love the present that he wanted all this while....
today went to have oreocheese cake with him....
i hope u like it althought it doesnt really look like a proper birthday cake...

working life is so much boring than school life....
more stress and pressure at workplace...
different environment, different people......
not even ready for this life.....
i really hope that i can continue schooling and take my degree....

i wish i wish....

was suprised to receive msges from them....
i hope your're strong to face reality in life....
enjoy ur life before going in a few wks time i guess...
glad that you have change & realise things that happen in the past...
i wish you all the best....

sayang having 24hr guard duty & no time 4 me....
i'm so damn bored plus nurul is not here to tok 2 me....
so the not use to the boringness in life....
i miss you alot dear...
book out faster can pleaseeee......

working is fun nowaday for me....
just that i get slpy easily ....
no1 entertaining me...
all're gone to Expo...
left me alone...
boohoo...

now i wanna buy itouch....
i wan i wan....
saving for the next few months till jun or july expo sales again....
weeee!!!
i wanna change hp le but daydEe dun let me....
but i'll still wanna it ....
hehehe....

fana is so damn clever la....
grade so damn good....
how i wish i'm as clever as her...
hais....
i miss you la....
wen can i possibble met you...??

just msning him for de past half n hour.....(i guess...)
lots of things happen when the time we're close till we're nt....
going our seperate waes was the best solution and dat was the past....
nvr did i mention dat he's not good or anitin....
never did i regret being wif him....
been thru those time was a memory dat shall be kept as memory....
i hope ure happy wif her and get to fulfill ur hajat before entering NS ....

atok just pass away this morning....
was suprised by dat new by my aunty....
didnt tot of that incident to happen so sudden...
may he rest in peace.....

i miss my sayang nw...
he's having urban war fare....
while i'm at home missing him....
staring at the empty air think of him...
wondering what will happen next for us...
hoping for the best of coz....
i love u jumalee.....

10 of every month will be the dae i'll alwaes remember...
de dae where he let those words out from his mouth.... (but his is msg)
stating that he love me and want us to go far not just a friend....
status was wat we're lacking of but it doesnt even matter....
wat's important is the bond that we have was dere....
and i hope that we'll go far as wat we've plan for...
tmr will be the dae that will tell us how long we've been together...
as a stranger, a friend, a boyfriend and in future.... insyallah....

i'm off.....

been 1 weeks since im starting working full time. lots of things that i've been learning and have to learn. hard time, fun time, play time all in one day. it's fun being the youngest in department as i'll get the most attentions and help from them. hehehss...

febuary have ended and march have begin. lost of things that's gonna happen. insyirah is gonna have exam soon and i really hope that she do well. i'll pray for u. suprisingly this months, there's a few people's burfdae. that's sux. but the important date is his. turning 21 in mar 25 2009. wanna suprise him if something that will make him remember foreva. just wanna be a good girlfwn to him. doing something good to make him happy.

no doubt we've been having a hard time recently but that dont meant that we dont love each other. that's life in relationship. not complete without ups and down in life.

upDating mY pOOr bloG...
hmmmm....
started my full time job on last fri....
was interesting yet boring though.....
do some typing here and there plus cutting papers...
goshhh!!!! i hate printing signages coz damn slow la till can fall asleep...
overall it was fun to learn new things plus i'm soo damn nice to do OT on the 1st dae...
waHahaha...

after which wen to mit my SaYang at Jurong Point....
he's so damn slow la mcm tortise...
waited n waited but tk sampai2...
tanx to my NUrul coz she accompanied me...
wen for dinner and bLa bLa bLA....

sAt was fun to a certain part only....
had tuition at 10 am but i'm late as usual...
supposed to met sAyang at MRT statIon but i was late ...
so swit of him to walk towards where i'm heading just to pick me up...
watch movie i'm not into you at CWP....
so romantic la de story but NuruL u really nid 2 watch it....
wen to mit nurul up at cineleisure coz she was having a date wif hmm...
but end up onli mit at lucky plaza....
played pool for 2 hrs and it was funnnn...
sayang really good at playing pool...
something dnt really goes smoothly but shall not sae it....

was quite upset about it till now....
breaking down was the 1st things that took place....
i dun noe why but i just dont like....
y cnt u just understand it???
sometime i feel that i'm not good enuf 4 u....
dun noe when will things be just fine again like hw it use to be...
hais....

busy wif work and tuition lately....
forcing myslf to be busy....
wkdaes is not fun w/o sayang....
i wish i wish to have a good wkends wif him...

taking care peepsss....

p.s : LEADER!! get well soon orites.... miss ya....

back to update about life....

been working all the way since the day school ended....
poly life is ending and to be exact have already ended....
gonna miss those times wif that crazy bunch of people.....
pLaying, gossiping, caboTing, sLacking, chit -chatting,....
time flies rEaLLy fast......

pLenty2 of things have beEn taKing plaCE in mY liFe.....
pEople cOme and peOple gO.....
daT's liFE.....
reAlly aPPreciate for all tHose meMories daT was lEft behiNd.....
bUT i wIsh daT dIs one pErsOn woNT leaVe mY liFE....
becAuse i LOVE hIm.....

searching for job is totally hell lots of no fUn....
irritating when u apply but no reply from them...
just hope dat i get this admin job at robinson la....
pray for me okie....

hmmmm......
i'm sssooo damn bored today....
nth to do and no one 2 talk 2....
goshhh...

stop here now....
cont other daes.....
taking care pEeps...

dAes gEtting cLoser aNd clOser....
not eveN pRepAred for it...
tOtaLLi fREakIn oUt...
geTtiNg iT doNe anD over wiTh...
eNjoy de rEst of the DaEs iN pOly....
wIsh mE lUck foR dIs weDs pResenTatioN....

aM i dOIng de RigHT thIngs alL thIS while....
iGnoRing and iGnoRing waT's hAppeNing....
sCaREd to b hUrt and tO hUrt oTHers...
esPeciaLLy mY jUmaLEe....
hais..

woW!!! tiME reallY flieS daMn fasT ...
bEen togetHer for alMOst 6mThs...
alhAmdulIlLah.....
i hOpe wE'LL lasT foRevEr....
reAsoN beIng i lOve hIm aLOt....
mUcKS.....

p.s. : i mIss my FArhaNa AriS....