so frustrated with everything....
what is f**king wrong with me ...
argghhh!!!!
everything seems to be wrong somewhere...
just need someone to be here with me...
making me feel better....
telling me nth is going to be wrong...
hais...

met him at last ytd...
at ard afternoon...
headed to vivo for a movie...
preety akward at first...
been sometime wen couples dun mit & call...
this is wat happen...
frankly speaking i really miss him badly...
feel like hugging him wen i first met him...
telling him how much i miss him...
holding his hand very thight...
that's wat i feel like doing...
but wat i did was a different thing....
feeling like miting a stranger...
someone that i've not met for sometime...
silence was occupying the atmosphere...
since the journey started till it ends...
very wierd to have that happening when i miss him...
the moment wen u holds my hands...
i feels like crying inside....
the moment u hug me...
i just wan to cut it short...
dun wan to depend on u dat much...

i just dun understand what's happening in my life now...
freaking lost in a middle of nowhere...
where nothing can be found...
nothing is right....
u may wan me to accpt everything ...
not to complain things to u...
even if im just clarifying things...
to u it's just plainly complaining....

supposed to get ready to mit eza n wan for breakfast...
but i'm still here not ready at all...
dun feel like going but i nid some entertainments...
to let my mind rest from problems dat kept myself down...

wen cn this ever ends...
happiness taking over...
miracle happens....
i wish.....

work was superb the slack today...
boss isnt there...
thus everything was peaceful...
tmr will be a day with her alone...
this is gonna be bored for me...
she's just simple fun to talk with..
just that i cnt be bothered to entertain...
haha...

met nurul n ezzah after werk...
wen to smu n den to YMCA...
at last i register for my degree...
all thanks to my two dear girls as alwaes...
hahah... ezzah u are 1 funny girl...
mcm paham look mature but padahal the youngest...
sayang kamu many2....
betul... betul... betul...
hope this will just goes smoothly as planned...
NOV will be the month skool will start for me...
yeay!!! i miss skool....

kinda of wierd to be going for class for minimum 1 day per month...
hahaha...
like play2 like dat....
but assigments will be very tough as usual...
oh well...
just cant wait for NOV to come....
then i'll be starting to feel the stressness...
2 module per semester....
insyallah boleh....
amin....

shud i be waiting for your messages everytime...
or shud i just let it be....
pretending is wat i'm alwaes do...
lying is taking place...
eversince urent here..

hate empty words...
is the same as not saying...
better to keep den hurting people...
be it u or her or him or you...
everyone are all the same..
refect on yourself...

waiting n waiting n waiting n waiting....
that's the things i've been doing...
sitting down counting the stars...
knowning that it's just uncountable...

wishing that something wud happen by chance...
something good that brings out happiness...
but yet it not taking place any sooner...
just a wish that i have in mind...
to make myself feel better...

while waiting for him to wash up...
decided to blog....
but nth is in my mind now...

just thinking whether i shud do apply for skul this year or nt...
really wanna go study back rather than starting to werk...
arent ready for a proper working environment now...
no doubt i've been working permanently for almost 1 yrs...
it's just so bored to do things the same again n again...

tmr n weds will be a bored dae...
i'll be alone werking with my boss...
can time pass faster so i can meet you..
can i.. can i... can i....

waiting for time to bath...
tinking abt things that have been taking place...
it's just so unpredictable...
i'm so actionless....
dying inside....

by all means u can be mad at me..
i noe im alwaes in the wrong when things bcome like this..
crying inside alone is just wat i could do...

every nite i'll wait for you..
having this mindset that u'll haf time for me..
even just awhile...
sometime its dissapointments but sometime it's happness...
i noe that u're bz with ur life now...
i'm sorry if i'm a burden to u...
cnt affort not to complain that u're nt there for me..
it's hard for me...
but i've tried not to complain that much...
however the loneliness is still there...
lying to myself is wat i alwaes do..
even u noe that....
coz i'm doing this all for u...
i dun wan to quarrel with u...
coz i love u...

faeza is not here for the time being.....

faeza nye blog sooo damn dead....
coz she's dead too nowadaes....
hahaha...
not literally dead bt emotionally...

was supposed to go running but bro in law came...
so tk jadi n nw mendaking in the room....
hmmm.... wat shall i sae.....
i miss my rp peeps especially my 2 abgs....
fasting dae is coming really really soon....
so de fast lor....
n i'm left with a few weeks to spend time with wan....
all are in NS and it's like so boredness....
how i wish that i can slower the time...
so he'll go NS abit later....
hais....

wen out with the Kranji girls that day....
was so damn KECOH wen met them....
everyone was like so happening xcept me...
hahaha...
kind of no mood....
but thanks to bestie that really understand me...
i'm sorry if im so emotionally down...
didnt meant to prangai or wat that day...
hope u do understand my situation...
to dee thanks for dropping by to mit me even for a short time...
appreciate it to the extend....

this week is the most boring week...
everydae must work....
sianx le....
but today wen dinner with wan....
thank for making my dae better...
n sorry if im alwaes late...
heheh..

i wanna watch movie can??
hais....
but watch wif who?
so the sian lor....
haiyooooo...
i just with that everything will be fine...
but will it be...??
i wonder....

there's where she stop...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO FARHANA ARIS

today's bestie 21 birthday....
now ure 1 yrs older...wahahah....
hope u enjoy ur dae big day...
love u so much farhana aris..
muackss!!!

things was hell for the past few weeks....
i wish that someone is there to comfort me...
like how it use to be but not now....
kept me wondering why things turns this way...
very complicated and unpredictable...
even for me...
cant even find the answer to the questions at all...
wen i asked you simply say nothing, maybe, dun noe...
whats more can i do to make things running in the r/s..??
that's always the question i have in mind when things goes wrong..
hais....

i wanna have fun in life....
like how i use to be...
with u by myside always...
nothing goes wrong at all...
can dat possibly happen again...
i doubt so...

fasting month is ard the corner...
hope that something good will happen...
a small girl is making a wish....