first thing 1st...
wen to vivo on the sat after a few hours emo-ing...
been a rough days since last wks...
lots of things have been taking place...
wasnt in the rite mind & emotions...
so complicated....
tanx to mummy dat she met me...
made me laugh n 4get about being angry...
wen he's infornt of me, cnt afford to be mad...
de feeling just change...
undescribe-able....
love him....
alot....

did smth funny on thurs...
wen sentosa with dat nurul...
last min planning....
all the credit goes to her....
long time nvr wen there...
for once i got to do stupid things...
hehehehe....
had lunch infrnt of the beach....
with the sun just rite infornt of us....
pretty damn hot n burning but yet enduring....
camwhoring here n dere...
damn fun.....
enjoyed de dae eventhough im supposed to spend it with him...

up next was the sunday...
wen out with sistas n bro-in-law plus bf...
5 of us was like spending time...
choosing 1 pink digital camera....
oh well...
the camera was 1 of my choices of bdae present dis year...
nice but yeah...
mine is nicer... =)

as for today,
met him for dinner...
n he bought me a teddy bear...
his name is GONDOL....
love it so much...
GOBLIN, MATREP, COOKIE MONSTER, MR SMILEY & GONDOL....
hahahaha...
cool....

thats all for now...
i wish i cud be with him forever,..
love u lots sayang...
muacks...





been a very long time since i blog abt things that had happened....
mayb that's no time to even mit up with fwns and bf,...
having involve with expo sales was fun...
being able to mit up with different people....
with different culture and wae of thing....
hmmm....
interesting yet irritating....
dat's working life....

doned with expo n back to store...
really miss my office and the people there....
was really glad that things have ended....
next will be xmas celebration promotions....
tons of things to do i guess...
hahahaha.....
hope so if nt i'll be rotting in the office ....

i miss bestie....
miss her till i cried alone in my room...
just cnt believe she really means so much to me....
been thru so much together....
i noe she have a own life now...
and i'll alwaes pray for the best for her....
luv u girl....

next up will be the rp peeps...
outing this sat that i s not really cnfrm though....
i miss them too....
my dear haira u're been miss my ur sis dear....
hopefully the outing will be on...
ezzah thanx for making me laugh for the whole nite...
really enjoy ur company....
mit up often ok with daddy too...
i miss daddy oso cn...
heheheh.....

nurul....
just be patience ok...
he'll be out sooner or later....
time will flies fast w/o u realising it....
trust me it will...
for now just enjoy the moments....
dun spoilt or destroy ur life bcuz of this...
b de nurul dat i've been with for the whole 3 yrs in poly...
i still have me if u nid someone orites...

something is wrong that's gonna happen...
i'm just so scared to think about it...
i wonder why must it alwaes happen...
will it like affect the relationship that im having now...
y cnt i just have a r/s that is simple and straight forward.,,,
im just tired of all the complication that been taking place...
simply cnt make any decision for now...
brain dead....
can i just run away from all this...

i just wish that i cud live a life with just bf...
w/o any interferences....
it wud be better....
for u n me....
forever...
hais...

kuimpikan mimpi yang sempurna dari mu.....





frustrated, irritated, annoyed....
feel like puching the wall...
arrrgghhhh....
y must all this happen....
tried very hard to be nice...
not throwing temper n all....
but i just feel that its too much....
everytime this happens...
i just breakdown & cry...
nth else that i could do...
haaisss..........

i wan to run far far far far away............





it's already 2am in the morning n yet im nt aslp...
suprisingly i dun feel slpy like hw i use too...
kinda off wierd but just cnt be bothered to think abt it...
miss the time wen u hold me tite...
spending time like there's no tmr...
joking n teasing each other...
talking on the fone till morning...
all this left only as memories for me...
things changes as people change...
not complaining...
just saying...

last day of fasting n raya is coming.,.
arent excited for that...
dun noe y but yah...
the feeling is just so wierd...
cnt explain it at all....

wen popeye for last buka session with the girls...
at last i got to mit up with haira...
miss her alot2....
had ben&jerry for after that...
cool or wat.....
hopefully this yr jln raya will go on smoothly as planned...
looking forward to mit everyone back like how we use to...

wat a dae...
injurd my toe for some reason...
n its bleeding and painful...
cian faeza....
hais...

will update the pictures in facebook wen i feel like updating it...





feeling quite dissapointing for now....
application for school was successful...
however money will alwaes be the main issue...
how i wish all this problems wun happen to me...
just wanna study as much as i can n be someone...
achieving what i've been dreaming for...

day by day the stressness is increasing....
feeling like things wun happen the wae i've planned...
trying very hard to make things right...
hoping for the best as possible...

to people who have been helping me...
just wanna say thank you so the very much...
greatly appreciated and i love u guys....

not looking forward to hari raya....
sadness....





lots of things have been taking place around me..
happy or sad...
it just happen as planned by fate...
there's things that I've pick up along the way...
learning how to give n take...
learn how to accept things that i should...
haix....
this is all the matter of time...
that could change things....
for the better...





so frustrated with everything....
what is f**king wrong with me ...
argghhh!!!!
everything seems to be wrong somewhere...
just need someone to be here with me...
making me feel better....
telling me nth is going to be wrong...
hais...

met him at last ytd...
at ard afternoon...
headed to vivo for a movie...
preety akward at first...
been sometime wen couples dun mit & call...
this is wat happen...
frankly speaking i really miss him badly...
feel like hugging him wen i first met him...
telling him how much i miss him...
holding his hand very thight...
that's wat i feel like doing...
but wat i did was a different thing....
feeling like miting a stranger...
someone that i've not met for sometime...
silence was occupying the atmosphere...
since the journey started till it ends...
very wierd to have that happening when i miss him...
the moment wen u holds my hands...
i feels like crying inside....
the moment u hug me...
i just wan to cut it short...
dun wan to depend on u dat much...

i just dun understand what's happening in my life now...
freaking lost in a middle of nowhere...
where nothing can be found...
nothing is right....
u may wan me to accpt everything ...
not to complain things to u...
even if im just clarifying things...
to u it's just plainly complaining....

supposed to get ready to mit eza n wan for breakfast...
but i'm still here not ready at all...
dun feel like going but i nid some entertainments...
to let my mind rest from problems dat kept myself down...

wen cn this ever ends...
happiness taking over...
miracle happens....
i wish.....





work was superb the slack today...
boss isnt there...
thus everything was peaceful...
tmr will be a day with her alone...
this is gonna be bored for me...
she's just simple fun to talk with..
just that i cnt be bothered to entertain...
haha...

met nurul n ezzah after werk...
wen to smu n den to YMCA...
at last i register for my degree...
all thanks to my two dear girls as alwaes...
hahah... ezzah u are 1 funny girl...
mcm paham look mature but padahal the youngest...
sayang kamu many2....
betul... betul... betul...
hope this will just goes smoothly as planned...
NOV will be the month skool will start for me...
yeay!!! i miss skool....

kinda of wierd to be going for class for minimum 1 day per month...
hahaha...
like play2 like dat....
but assigments will be very tough as usual...
oh well...
just cant wait for NOV to come....
then i'll be starting to feel the stressness...
2 module per semester....
insyallah boleh....
amin....

shud i be waiting for your messages everytime...
or shud i just let it be....
pretending is wat i'm alwaes do...
lying is taking place...
eversince urent here..

hate empty words...
is the same as not saying...
better to keep den hurting people...
be it u or her or him or you...
everyone are all the same..
refect on yourself...





waiting n waiting n waiting n waiting....
that's the things i've been doing...
sitting down counting the stars...
knowning that it's just uncountable...

wishing that something wud happen by chance...
something good that brings out happiness...
but yet it not taking place any sooner...
just a wish that i have in mind...
to make myself feel better...





while waiting for him to wash up...
decided to blog....
but nth is in my mind now...

just thinking whether i shud do apply for skul this year or nt...
really wanna go study back rather than starting to werk...
arent ready for a proper working environment now...
no doubt i've been working permanently for almost 1 yrs...
it's just so bored to do things the same again n again...

tmr n weds will be a bored dae...
i'll be alone werking with my boss...
can time pass faster so i can meet you..
can i.. can i... can i....