Saturday, June 02, 2012

PreTendIng sTate...

you miGht nOt liKe mE to pRetEnd bUt i hAf tO... JuZ tO caRry oN wiF mY siMplE lIfe... MaY soUnds eAsy aS tO jUst trEat u as a fWN bUt doIng iT iS a dIffErent tHing... I'll trY mY vEry bEst tO do dAt bUt oNli tIme wIll tEll eVerytHing.. U toLd mE daT i cUd cOnTact mE anYtiMe anIwHere buT it woNt b poSsibLe.. I woNt raNdoMly msG u n sAe i nid ur hElp oR wAt... DE moSt i'll raNdoMly sAe dat i Miss u sOo muCh.. BuT i caNt dO daT anImoRe... Dat's tHe thIng i nId tO tEll mYseLf to chAngE... NoWadAeS, u haF jSt stArT to dRaw liNe btWn uS.. ThouGht u nVr sAe anItin, i stIll caN senSe it... I'm areNt a sMall gIrl daT noEs nUts aBt all tHis... I goT thE fEeliNg uR dOing All tHis tO pRepaRe mE fOr tHe tIme.. SerIousLy, iT hUrts mE wEn u're dOing thAt.. EvEry moMents uR iMaGe caMe tO my mInd, teArs slOwly caME dOwn... SoMetiMe i jSt fEel daT i shUdnt haF knWn u bAck tHen... I shUdnt haF tReat u lIke suM1 spEcial... I nEver tOt Dat uRe so sPecIal to mE tIll it wIll reAlly maKe a Huge imPacT in my liFe... HoW i wiSh i cUd fEeze tHe tIme wEn iM liKe spEndiNg tIme wiF u.... I wAnna b seLf-fIsh aT tImes bUt .... It's nOt reAlly mE at all.. All i WAnna aSk fOr iS tO spEnd mOre tIme wiF yOu... BuT i nOe dAt's aLl iMpoSsiBle... ONly woRks iN faIryTales... & faiRytaLes arE fUll oF lIes... LIes & alWaeS lIes.... U jsT msg mE daT u'll bE tHe haPpiESt pErsOn iF u gT to nOe thAt im bCk to My oWnselF... MaKe mE woNder hOw loNg Will i tAke tO dO daT ... MonThs???? YEars??? I duN evEn nOe.. WaT i nOe iS daT i wIll taKe a vEry loNg tIme liKe hW iT uSe tO b... We shAll jSt wAit n c wAt wiLl hapPen bY tHen... AlwAes wiSh daT u jSt cOnt saYing tHat u miSs mE & evErytHing liKe hW u uSe tO say tO mE... I miSs u lIke dE gUy daT i 1st tAlk tO... Dat alWaes smIle aT mE evErytIme i loOk at hIm... I nOe u waN mE tO trEat u lIke a Fwn bUt pLeaSe tAKe iT slOwly... COz it's kiLliNg mE insiDe... U miGht nOt knOw iT but plEase spAre mE soMe toTs... Day aFter daYs, tHings sloWly cHanging... URe alwAes bZ wiF ur own stUff... DaT i cNt sAe mUch... LeSsser mSging... LeSser tIme talKing oN tHe pHone... No miTing up aniMorE... No 'i miss you' ... NO 'i love you'... NO ' sYg'... NO moRe kiSseS & huGS... ToTallY noThinG... JSt A caSuaL mSgEs... RemIndeRs... :(((( Wat elSe i cUd dO nOw???? WhO cUd i tUrn to??? IM liKe bCk tO squAre 1... KiPping thIng tO mySelf... SloWly all tHe sorrOws alOne.. CRying iN tHe nIghT... Ohhhh gOd!! PlEase gIf mE tHe stRenghT... OnE dAy wEn u happEn tO rEad dIs bLog, dEn u'll nOe hOw i fEel, hw mUch im suFfering.. ThE reAl story oF tHis gIrl... SomEthIng thAt u Dun ReallY nOe abT me... SomEtHing tHat i nVr teLl oR shARe it wiTh u... Tell you smth that u dun noe... URe the onLi gUy dAt i'Ve evEr mEt dAt haF tHe cLoses expEctatIon daT i wAn foR my dReam gUy... MY faiRytaLe pRinCe... TruThfuLly... But i HoPe u'll b haPpy alWaEs wiF hEr & ur faMily... As loNg as uRe haPpy , i'll b haPpy tOo... SerioUsly i wIll thOught iT dOesNt sOunDs coNvinCinG... :))) JuSt liKe hOw u wAn mE To b... HappY n alWaes sMile.. THe buBbly gIrl daT uSe to b a Part oF mE... FoR nOw , i woNt waN pRomiSe u aNitHing anImoRe... WaT i nOe iS tHat i'll tRy tO kIp my pRoMise.. BuT if i hAppEn to bReak iT, i'll poSt it in my blOg... U reAd dEn u'll nOe... JuLy oNwaRds, i'll tRy tO slOwly trEat u lIke fWn tHough i noE dAT i Have tO liE to mYselF... KiP mySelf bZ wiF aniTiNg dAt i cUd .. JuS tO kiP mySelf frM miSsing u eVery nOw n Den... ThOugh i nOe i'll b lyiNg tAt i'll nVr miSs u... JuSt tHe mATter oF hw iM gOnna pLaY arD wiF mY miNd... HoW i wiSh i cUd stOp aLl tHis pReteNdiNg & lyIng & jSt b mYselF... IF tHat dAE wEre tO happEn, i'll jSt saY it'll a miraCle... GueSss i'll stOp hEre fOr noW... U've jSt stArtEd uR niTe shIft... Doing aBus & u're liKe a sMall kiD sO haPpy... I'll tRy tO stOp mySelf frM meSsaGing u tOo oFfen... TrY tO kiP u away fRom my mInd... But meMoRies wiLl alWaes b dEre wif mE... Quoted from u.. "Memories will alwaes b forever, the starry night will never change, accompany you thRu"....

No comments: